Character Review: Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto) Part 1

Alright, it's time for another character review! As usual, I'll review certain characters and express what I feel about them so far. Again, this mainly my opinion and you're free to say otherwise!

In this review, gonna go with Naruto character Sasuke Uchiha, whose pretty much a Hell of a character to look at.

Yes, I'm talking bout you, Jackass.

To be fair, Sasuke wasn't such a bad character to begin with in the series, but let's say one too many bad things happens to the poor sap that he became quite the person you either want to hug...Or give him a smack to the face, whatever really suits your stance on him.

Before we begin in detail, I kinda wanted to mention that Sasuke himself was more of a last minute creation for the creator of Naruto, Masashi Kishomoto, who was advised by his editor to give the main character a rival, as most Shonen anime/manga often has. Kishomoto then creates Sasuke by reading a lot of manga with rivals in them and thus, we get this talented kid who has the badass loner personality aka that guy you may have second thoughts sitting next to because of his disturbing nature with fear that he might shank you with a rusty spoon. Okay, already I can see this review going a little weird...

Okay, begin!

Things to know about Sasuke:
-He's the rival (meaning the complete opposite of our main character in many ways yet attached to one another like glue)
-The fact above means he's obviously better than the main character in the beginning.
-He later gets broken powers that comes from his eyes!
-Good luck reading Naruto Shippuden once you get about halfway in so far if you loathe him already.
-He's Hell bent on REVENGE...On just about anything really.
-Again, thanks to the above fact, he is the uber example of why revenge is going to bite you in the ass in the long run.

Alright History lesson!

Sasuke Uchiha was just your average kid in the ninja village known as Konoha, learning how to one day be a killer and look awesome doing so (no, this is not just him, every kid does this, even the fat kids...Naruto was rather mature of a manga to be honest). For a kid...He's as adorable as you think he would be. Course, people said the same crap bout Anakin Skywalker and look what happen to him.

Good grief, why not play "Crawling" by Linkin Park while we're at it?

To be fair, the kid has guts. His older brother, Itachi Uchiha, was perhaps...Well, just flat out awesome compare to Sasuke and their Dad made this clear aka your brother is awesome and you're...Somewhat getting there sort of attitude. To make Good Old Pops proud like any unfavorable child, Sasuke decided to learn one of his family's specialty, and that's shooting fireballs from his mouth:

Well, let's say he'll be doing awesome tricks in a party from now on...Really awesome tricks.

Dad notices this and finally figures that maybe the seeds he spawned are always gonna be awesome than he thought and acknowledges the kid. Really, Sasuke finally gets some respect (well, in a way Dad wouldn't need to lie about to his friends that he's an astronaut or something) from his Dad and things look good for him...Until big bro decided to go batshit insane and kills the entire family but Sasuke himself.

...Whoa, that really sucks...

Course, Itachi just had to show the poor kid just about every gory detail thanks to his uber eye powers and scar the poor kid for life, and to top it all off, actually tells Sasuke he better train his ass if he wants to kill him before leaving Konoha as a fugitive. Naturally, Sasuke takes these words and train his ass off he did from then on, so he can kick his brother's ass.

Now, we get the actual story after that!

Naruto, Part 1:

Like I mention, Sasuke trains his butt off to one day kill his big brother...And damn, it paid off.

He's like that kid in High School you would envy for being awesome...Except he can kick your ass and look good doing so.

The guy is popular among his peers, a talented badass, and every girl in his fricking school wants him. He'd be top dog of a high school cliche if he was in a sappy teen drama for all I care but damn! Course, being the best, there's the worse. That title belongs to our actual hero, Naruto Uzumaki.

Behold, our heroic loser of a Hero!

Both are very different. While Naruto kind of sucks in his studies, Sasuke is top notch. If every girl wants Sasuke, every girl (except like one) would see Naruto as an immature jackass. If Sasuke is serious, Naruto doesn't know the word serious unless he really thinks hard about it. Despite these differences...This honestly doesn't stop the Yaoi Fangirls.

Behold, the scene that started the Naruto/Sasuke shipping, in which I call Narusuke! Bet someone 10 bucks they'll name their future child this! ...Whoa, that sounds way out of context and it's hilarious.

Okay, one thing to take note of is the fact that both have a grand childhood of suck. Naruto never had parents...Or anyone who treats him like an actual human being (really, that's what happens when you got a demon sealed in your body like a can of tuna) in his entire life, while Sasuke...Well, we all know that story haven't we?

So both boys and some girl named Sakura (who practically worships Sasuke and sees Naruto as annoying) get teamed up by Kakashi, some uber ninja who has uber haxed eye powers that are actually worth a damn in this whole manga! Course, Sasuke is still in his loner stage and despite being the better fighter of the three (Naruto is an average fighter at best while Sakura...Has nonexistent skills), he learns the value of friendship and team work.

And we all know that this is awesome.

Sasuke and Naruto slowly become a kick ass duo (Sakura still sucks) and both kind of acknowledge the others skill and power. As Naruto like any other hero becomes from loser to sheer badass while Sasuke eventually gain his own uber eyes power and can use lightning as a weapon! Sakura...Still sucks (Alright, enough ragging on the poor girl). So it seems things are looking up for Sasuke, whose actually getting out of his "loner are freaks" phase and apperciate his life surrounded by his friends who consider him a true comrade and vice versa.

Course, that doesn't really last long, seeing how manga loves to mess around with their characters.

It all begins a downhill spiral for Sasuke as he happens to run into Orochimaru, an evil insane badass ninja who suffers such a decay of both a villain and a badass as time and time goes by and gets lamer the more times you see him.

Jesus Christ, how did you became so lame as of now?!

Orochimaru, sensing potential in our character, bites Sasuke in the neck and gives him the curse seal, a rather weird ass seal that gives the user a hefty power up boost while being covered in squiggly marks.

No way, I'm not gonna be a Twilight Vampire? I'm so gonna wangst about this on my blog of misfortunes!

Obviously, when you're given a power up and you're not the main character, you're going to become a power hungry asshole in the future and that's pretty much seals the deal for Sasuke as he heads into this route. So while that temptation for power comes around, Naruto has proven himself to be way too uber for even Sasuke and that usually never sits well for rival characters. Oh, and did I mention Itachi came back in town?

Hey, long time no see. Let me show you how I killed our entire family again while I'm in this sexy pose.

...Worse big brother ever...And I mean EVER.

At this point, Sasuke pretty much says fuck it, and heads out to seek Orochimaru for power. Especially how Kakashi tells him to stop being such a dick about this whole revenge deal and just forget about it...I'm pretty sure that doesn't work for a guy who got scarred for life from the guy he knew and loved, his own flesh and blood for god sakes, that killed his entire family when Sasuke was like a kid...Man, Kakashi kind of needs to work out his motivation speech.

So Sakura tries to stop him from leaving....

Nope, just keep walking...Just ignore her.

Okay, to be honest...It's really heart breaking. She really pours her fricking heart for him, reveals her love for him, and Hell, even offers to join him as long as she can be with him. This...Really takes a lot of guts and sacrifice from this girl and kind of makes you feel bad for her, because she knows she sucks so it's not like she can force him to leave, and not to mention Sasuke is her fricking teammate.

Course, Sasuke's need for power really beats the crap out of the Power of Love and he leaves anyway, to meet up with Orochimaru's top fighters aka elite cannon fodder known as the Sound 5, who'll escort him to Orochimaru.

To be honest, they suck except like one guy....Or two.

Naturally, Konoha strikes back by sending a small team of low level grunts aka most badass underdogs in this manga! Including our hero Naruto!

Really, they'll like a power stable in pro-wrestling...Only except they don't suck! (screw nWo and Nexus! Four Horsemen for life!!)

The fight for Sasuke is perhaps one of the few brutal as Hell arcs in part 1 of the series as nearly all the heroes suffered badly in their fights and a good portion of the team nearly die an actual death, only to survive by a very small portion of hope and skills. Once Naruto himself reaches to Sasuke, you really want him to beat some sense into Sasuke and see just how far the gang is willing to go to get to him...While Sasuke decides to gain a power-up by killing his best friend aka Naruto before he leaves for good...So:

That means a very EPIC battle of destiny!

This is actually a very good and emotional fight. This fight reveals just how much Naruto considers Sasuke to be like a brother to him and will never give up into getting Sasuke back home that only death can stop while Sasuke finally acknowledge Naruto as his equal as well as a worthy fighter and stops bitching and moping (which he was prone of doing in that arc) while kicking ass. Both sides reveal just about every trick they learned in part one and for low ranked ninjas...They really do awesome things. It eventually got destructive to the point both sides resort to use of their power ups.

Hah, jokes on you bitch! I'm now Super Saiyan Naruto! Bet you don't have-

...Oh snap.

So yeah, Curse Seal Sasuke...Is a really weird design that really feels weird just looking at to be honest (and I thought one winged angel Sephiroth was weird) but who cares, both sides are awesome! So both Naruto and Sasuke prepare and strike one last time with their best technique.

Both then disintegrated to dust as their souls ascended to Valhalla as reward for their epic battle and for being god damn awesome...Oh, you wish that would happen.

In a rather big shocker for a Shonen Manga at that time, Naruto actually loses and couldn't convince Sasuke to go back...It's rather depressing and mind you, Naruto actually convinced two mass killing machines and a total asshole before this happen so it was kind of shocking. Sasuke leaves his rather awesome looking headband to symbolize he's never coming back...But spares Naruto because of how much the dude proves to be so awesome, even Sasuke has to admit that killing him for an eye upgrade was a stupid plan. He soon leaves, leaving Naruto to realize he failed...But it doesn't mean he'll give up so easily next time they meet...Course that takes about a couple years later but he'll never give up!

...At least he gave us another fuel for the Naruto/Sasuke Shipping before he officially leaves the main cast! Hey-O!

So that's the end of Sasuke's story, Part 1. It's not really over yet but given the recent amounts of Sasuke related things in Naruto Shippuden (aka Part 2), I'm just gonna make this review a bit about part 1 before diving into...The rather Uchiha filled plot of a story part 2 brings.

Part 1 Sasuke was actually a neat character. He may be a bit of an anti-social "you don't understand what I went through" sort of person but given his back story...You have to admit he has good reasons. I did like how he learns how to be a team player and actually has genuine respect for his friends that he just doesn't admit. Of course, when things got downhill for him, he was pretty much acting like a kid who couldn't decide who can he rely on to get where he wants to go. He simply saw Konoha as a crutch in his progress when things got really bad in the story for him and decided if he wants to kill someone, it's best not to drag anyone he knows into it that would hinder his goal and heads to the guy who claims and kind of proves he has the power Sasuke wants in the end of Part 1. Did it piss me off? Hell yeah it did. Sasuke threw his bonds of friendship out the fricking window and tries to kill who he calls his best friend for a power up. I mean everyone who almost died in part 1 did it to get his ass back in the village, and to see their sacrifice eventually does nothing really pisses me off. However, I do admit he did snap out of it for a bit and fought Naruto as his equal and doesn't act like an arrogant ass throughout the second half of the battle. It did reminded us that before the eventual betrayal, he was a good teammate and friend to Naruto. It makes me glad he decide not to kill Naruto, displaying what is perhaps the last act of friendship he'll ever do for Naruto and what's left of his good nature since he was acting like a jackass until those moments. Honestly, the guy suffered badly and part of me can't exactly hate him for his extreme actions (although most of me do wish he got twice the ass kicking for even running away) in which he honestly thought is the best path to take.

Keep in mind this is part 1, part 2...Will take a while. But the nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this review!

Till Next Time!

Sources:
-Naruto Anime Screen Shots
-Naruto Fanart
-Gurren Lagann

Movie Review: Bloodsport

Stuff in the 80s were...Well, ridiculous. I always scratch my head in a moment of confusion of how we thought we got into a fashion that clearly makes us look ridiculous and then there's the movies made in that time. I mean don't get me wrong, there are some nice gems of movies in the 80s but there are some pretty weird shit out there and it's really more up to anyone to say if they love the film or just think it's worthless crap. The film I'm reviewing, Bloodsport, really has that mileage may vary sort of feeling.

Bloodsport: You can just tell this is going to be weird of a movie...

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad movie...But it's not exactly a good movie. I mean the plot is simple, we honestly don't care about the cast other than Jean Claude Van Damme (simply because we have to see him in nearly every scene) and Bolo Yeung (simply because he really displays his character as an outragous douchebag), and screw the stuff outside the fight scenes because we came to watch the rather "Did more effort" enjoyable Fight Scenes in this film. The film makers cleary see this ain't going to be the next "Enter the Dragon" or "Karate Kid" so they did what they can and it came out more of a cult classic than some masterpiece. I mean at least it wasn't like that outragous movie that Van Damme also did called Street Fighter-

AGH!!! MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!! Oo

...You know what, let's just get into Bloodsport.

Our film opens up as various martial artists from around the world practicing their skills for an event known as the Kumite (it's like Mortal Kombat, except you don't rip out people's spines out of their asses), which range from simple sparring, punching bags, ...Climbing into trees to crack coconuts...And plain out beat the living smeg out of people. You know, I'd say this is going to be a very weird of a movie than I thought it would be already.

So our main hero (aka Van Damme) is Frank Dux, a U.S. Soldier (I think?) gets word that his commanding officer figures out his plan for his trip to Hong Kong (obviously not to take part in an international death tournament...You can see I'm not trying on the sarcasm) and demands to talk to Dux. Dux however, plans the greatest escape plan ever.

...He simply asks to take a shower in which they given him, allowing him to slip through and is now AWOL. Wow, what a totally awesome plan and a really stupid army officer to think this wasn't going to go badly.

Dux heads back to California to see his master, a rather old man who once used Dux as a punching bag for his son when Dux was a teenager. Naturally, Dux and the old man's kid became friends and the kid tells our young hero that one day, he'll make his father proud and win the Kumite for him...

Naturally, that gets the poor sap killed offscreen, because if you happened to have a dozen minutes tops of screen time and declare a goal of the movie this early in an 80s flick, you're pretty much a dead man.

So of course, the old man agrees to train Dux and considers him family. Of course, in an 80s flick, we get a training montage!

My God, even Mr. Miyagi would never do this!!!

The training consists of the old man beating the everliving heck out of Dux until he became loser to goddamn martial art wielding badass, showing that he can even block a strike while blindfolded! (...Something tells me this is going to be part of the plot somehow...) After that series of trying the Rocky Balboa training method, we are back in the present (well, more like the 80s but do I honestly care?) as Dux promises his master he'll win the Kumite...I don't know, isn't that much of a stretch to just declare you're gonna win a tournament that gathers even guys who crack coconuts?

The Army, completely in disarray for the loss of one guy (I apologize to any Soldiers in case being AWOL is actually as serious as the movie suggested), hired two government agents to drag Dux's ass back to base and explain himself.

You can just tell they're gonna suck at this job.

And wow, Forest Whitaker? Why does he tend to show up in films and TV shows I least expect him to be in? Hell, he was the host for the newer Twilight Zone! They head to the old man's house demanding for Dux's location...Only to find out he already went out of the country...Super job guys.

So Dux finds himself in Hong Kong and guess what? He found two new companions on his quest to be the white guy who wins this whole damn tournament!

Ray Jackson: Fellow American Kumite Fighter, he's actually one of the enjoyable characters for his loud presence. Naturally, this means he's gonna get the shaft later in this film...Damn 80s cliches.

Victor Lin: He's mostly the tour guide for Dux and Ray...And is that guy who explains everything in case you were sleeping the first 20 minutes in this film.

You know, if Van Damme said no to being in this film, I'd watch it for those two...And Forest Whitaker (what? I like Whitaker). So our gang heads off to the registration, in which Dux is questioned if he actually was taught by Miyagi the 2nd (no diss on Pat Morita, Miyagi rules) and asked him to perform the Dim Mak as proof-

Wait, how does this work???

WTF?! The man just blew the last brick on the bottom while the ones on top are fine?! What the Hell is Dux, a wizard?! Naturally, everyone finds this as either cool or a sure means to give Dux death glares because he proves them all to be muggles while he has magical powers (by all means, that's blatant cheating). One of the fighters remained unimpressed, a fellow named Bolo Yeung-I mean Chong Li! Chong Li is a scary mofo who I'll label Asian Ivan Drago in this review, due to pure nostalgia and it's the fricking 80s and to Hell if I didn't mention Ivan Drago!

I must break you-I mean brick no hit back!

So we finally get things moving and we're going to soon enjoy our scenes of kick ass-Love interest?!

Her role in this film is somewhere between annoying and clearly having no idea how the Kumite works at all.

Damn it, if she's there and she can't do anything useful or have some sort of development that's worthwhile in this film then why have her in it?! I mean the whole film so far is purely about grown men beating the smeg out of each other and trust me, she tries to do something but it really doesn't help. This has to be one of those films where a love interest has no business being in but added anyway for some value I'm not sure of.

....Sometimes, the 80s can be frustrating...

So anyway, the first day of the tournament begins as they begin to weed out the guys we don't give a damn about in this film...And it's by far a lot of people. Ray goes first of our characters who we give a damn about as he demostrates his fighting style:

1. Act like an idiot and get his ass kicked around
2. Go fricking Incredible Hulk on his opponent's ass until they spurt out chunky tomato sauce.

Really Ray? Is that really your game plan? ...God, I enjoy this jackass.

Asian Ivan Drago goes next...And he owns his opponent in a brutal fashion. Then we get to learn from Victor that he's infamous for killing people in his matchs. Wait, what?! He kills people in the ring and is a well known fighter, not to mention no Westerner has ever won the Kumite...So are all these cannonfodder think they got a chance?!

Gah! That is so wrong in many levels! Let that burn into your retinas while you're at it

Dux and Ray: Are you bad enough dudes to take on Asian Ivan Drago?

Well, Dux goes next and we get to learn he has the power of owning you with no trouble. Really, he's fricking invincible in this film all the way to the final fights. I mean that's kind of predictable but are they trying to make him Kung Fu Jesus? Because these guys are my Kung Fu Jesus!

Because the messiah of Kung Fu kicks ass!

Well, the rest of the first day is mostly a few minute montage of our heroes and Asian Ivan Drago kicking ass and such under the song "Fight to Survive" by Stan Bush...And it's rather awesome!

Alright, back to the plot, Forest Whitaker and...That other guy find Dux and demands he come with them back to the States. Naturally, Dux makes them look like morons (at least he didn't ask for a fricking shower this time) and outruns them. Really, who hired these guys? You need like ten Daniel LaRusso's with Mr. Miyagi to kick Dux's ass given his track record in this film so far.

So we're back to the Kumite in the second day, where more people we couldn't less about proceed to give out awesome fights and guess what? It turns out Ray gets to face Asian Ivan Drago!

...Well, he's boned.

In what appears to be an amazing miracle, Ray actually does some damage and may actually win this with his Hulking out powers! He might-Oh god, he's dancing over the fact he actually hit his opponent...Damn it Ray. So Ray in the end suffers defeat by the brutality of Asian Ivan Drago because he had to act like a jackass...

If he dies, he dies.

You can just see I'm milking the Ivan Drago jokes here. XD

Dux is then freaking out because with his meal ticket to victory-I mean best friend being in a coma, he's screwed. I mean it's not like he'll throw Victor like a flail...because that's just too damn awesome. Really, it gets weird as Dux is then seeing the guy in his head...It's one of those times he needs a drive down a tunnelway while listening to Robert Tepper's "No Easy Out" (Hah, another Rocky joke!)

Really Dux? This is your way to calm yourself, the splits?

Really, do we really need a Jean Claude Van Damme film in the 80s having a splits scene? We have like 3 in this film already! So Dux heads to the final day of the Kumite, only to be stopped by Whitaker and the police...They get their asses kicked in the span of ten seconds (I still say bring out the Daniel-San clones if you want the job done). Finally, the two agents said fuck it and just let Dux finish the tournament because he's a royal pain in the ass. So we get our final match between Dux and Asian-Oh screw it, I'll call him Chong Li (besides, the joke is getting stale). What's strange is that the head of the tournament thinks it's cool to change the ring and have our two fighters dressed in shorts...I'm not sure what custom that is but male service ahoy!

So Dux gets knocked around until he displays his Kung Fu Jesus skills are superior to Chong Li's Brutality Fu until the bastard decided to cheat and throw dust in Dux's eyes!

Naturally, this backfires greatly.

So Dux decides to hand Chong Li his ass by giving him endless barrages of kicks that Chun-Li from Street Fighter would give props for... (What am I saying, Chun-Li is Hell better than Dux...Not the lousy movie version of Chun-Li)

So Chong Li gives up and Dux wins...Except it comes across as no surprise given the nature of the plot. Well....Ray's back in good health so yeah, he and Victor are gonna do wacky crap once more and that's a victory in my book! So our movie ends as Dux heads back to the states and proving once more that the USA during Reagans time that Althetes are America's top weapons of mass destruction!

So What do I think? The movie is just too predictable in some ways. After all, it's an 80s flick. Some scenes are fun while some are boring...Like roll your eyes boring. The plus side is mainly the fight scenes (which was actually decent to good so that's alright) and the rather nice soundtrack (most awesome crap I've listened to in an 80s flick) that is a bitch to find on the internet (although youtube has some songs). What I did enjoy was the tournament chart wikipedia made for this movie...Yeah, take it with a grain of salt if you wish.

Wait, Geese Howard from King of Fighters lost?! NO EFFING WAY!

Does Geese Howard need to choke a bitch?!

So again, it's not a bad movie but it's most not a good movie depending on your own viewings of this really weird film....Then again, the 80s made no sense and we did have Roadhouse, which is the pinnacle of weirdest crap in an 80s flick.

I hope you enjoy this review...Of this. Now I need something to get my mind off this stuff...

Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?

Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did.

Matrix: I lied.

Heh, Commando is such a ridiculous film.

Sources:

 -Street Fighter the Movie

-Bloodsport

-Geese Howard

-Commando

-Fist of the North Star

-Till Next time!

Comic Book Review: DC's Day of Vengence

I read one too many comics and enjoyed them, being that they are made to entertain the Hell out of you after all (Hell, if Green Lantern has a giant space bug of fear and made it interesting, then they're clearly doing something right). Since I read way too damn much, I might as well review one. Would I do this in a weekly basis? Probably not, seeing how this ain't Atop the Fourth Wall here (A much more excellent show about comics, mostly bad comics, but Lewis Lovhaug AKA Linkara knows his comics more than I do so I say check him out).

The comic for this review? DC's special: Day of Vengeance.

AKA when The Spectre decides to beat the Hell out of everything.

The story is mostly one of many other stories leading to the event known as Infinite Crisis in the DC Universe (which is a whole another can of epic whoopass that you would have to look up). This limited series focuses on the character known as the Spectre, one of the most powerful beings in DC (which of course, meant he isn't really used a whole lot in other stories or else he becomes a Deus Ex Machina everytime he appears) and thanks to another spirit such as him called Eclipso, he is to believe that all magic is evil. So being God's Spirit of Vengeance, he does what he does best:

HE PROCEEDS TO KILL ANYONE RELATING TO THE "M" WORD.

He killed Leonidas Potter?! That Green Wearing Bastard!

He's pretty much going Jason Voorhees on their asses and despite their best efforts, the various magic users of DC are pretty much screwed since he's well, the fricking Wrath of God. Already, he has taken out the best magic users of DC.

Phantom Stranger (aka the most mysterious character DC ever made who can't fricking die): Turned into a mouse

Doctor Fate (Agent of Order): Imprisoned in his own helmet...God Damn. Oo

Madame Xanadu (To be honest, I just heard of this character): Blinded and can no longer read her tarot cards because the Spectre's a dick.

And that's not all, Spectre is even mentioned to kill in a pretty damn good bodycount. He even kills a family of Vampires.

No, he spares the Cullens, cause the fans would go insane if he did kill them...

So naturally, this calls for action, as the comic gives us these guys!

Who ya gonna call? These guys! ...I guess we're boned.

So yes, we're not given the Justice League, Justice Society of America or any of the big list teams (frankly, I guess they decided to do other things than lending a hand), we get this group of D-listed heroes composed of:

Ragman: Think Batman if he was Jewish and looks like a hobo wearing rags containing the souls of dead people. Ironically, he works in Gotham city but I never heard of him until now. Then again, it's the place of the Goddamn Batman.

Nightmaster: Who proves wearing chainmail is still going to save your damn life and make you look badass. Carries a magical sword because, well swords are cool when their filled with magic goodness. And get this, he owns a bar and we know that bartenders are badasses.

Enchantress: Powerful Sorceress who admits that using too much of her magic abilities makes her go evil and on a power-drunk rampage...Yeah, that's all I can say for the character.

Nightshade: To be honest, I really don't know much about this character other than manipulating shadows due to the fact she does less things that gets me to understand the character other than a brief mention about her relationship with the Enchantress but that's it.

Blue Devil: Name really says it all. Oh and he carries a trident that can banish demons to Hell, which is awesome.

Detective Chimp aka Bobo: ...Yeah, it's a talking monkey whose a smartass and does detective work. He admits he sucks in battle...Yet I like the character.

So yes, a bunch of random superheroes go off on a suicide mission to combat the Spirit of Vengeance known as the Spectre, who has a pretty good track record in his career compare to our heroes, who I mention I just learn of just by reading this miniseries.

...My God, they are so going to die. 

But what's this?! Captain Marvel appearing to fight the Spectre?! Maybe our heroes got a chance after-

Oh right, he's getting his ass kicked...

So naturally, the group decided to say screw it and fight Spectre's companion Eclipso, who isn't that much of a pain in the ass compare to Spectre and just plain pain in the ass for them. While this is going on, Bobo and Nightshade are looking for someone that is stronger than the Spectre but more on that later. Back to the fight, the gang is getting their asses kicked around by Eclipso and Captain Marvel isn't doing well in his battle against Spectre, which Enchantress devises a plan. Basically, she gathers the powers of nearly anyone who has magic and channels it into Marvel, who then proceeds to kick Spectre's ass, and it's rather insanely awesome.

This is for Hogwarts, Middle Earth, Sparta, and Disneyland!!!

It sums up as an epic middle finger to the Spectre by frankly everyone that hates the bastard...And that's a lot of people. Really, it's like a Gurren Lagann moment, where you know it's insane but it's god damn awesome. Naturally, a plan this amazing is a plan that's not going to work in the long run in a comic as Enchantress gets a Hell lot of power and this prompts her to go evil on our heroes and Marvel slowly losing his new amounts of strength, losing his chance to beat on Spectre's ass for good. This prompts Spectre and Eclipso to retreat and our heroes surviving the encounter. Oh and how did they handle Evil Enchantress? Blue Devil just goes up and punches her in the face...That was kind of simple.

Now confident of their mission against Spectre, our heroes of course can't go back to Plan A from above, because we know a plan that awesome will never be used again in a comic. So we go to Plan B, in which Bobo and Nightshade picked up a teenage girl named Black Alice and plans to use her to fight the Spectre. So...An angsty teenage girl fights the Wrath of God? Knowing how weird comics can be, this plan is going to work, no matter how insane it is but it still sounds iffy. Of course, they have a reason: Black Alice has the power to take peoples powers and use them for a limited time (of course, she can't take Batman's power of being rich...Because that power is a little too epic for even Black Alice). At this point, Captain Marvel leaves the group to aid the Wizard Shazam, whose pretty much an uber version of Gandalf the White....What the Hell am I saying? Gandalf is always number one in my book!

Damn right!

So Shazam figures that Spectre is gunning for him next and prepares the battle. Meanwhile, our gang decides to face the Spectre and Eclipso again and sure enough, they do (you all saw this coming). Plan B is taken to effect...And it actually works. Holy crap, for something called a Suicide mission, it sure works out in their end...Twice in fact! Of course, Black Alice can't turn the Spectre into green/white goop since the Spectre without his powers...Is pretty much just a unkillable pissed off ghost. So they paid a little more attention to Eclipso, who again proves to be an pain in the ass to our heroes until Bobo tells the group that sunlight is Eclipso's weakness....So they throw her punk ass into the orbit of the Sun! Genius!

Spectre finally has enough of this bull crap and as soon as he regain his powers, heads to face Shazam, and begins the epic battle between pissed off Spirit of Vengeance and Old Wizard second to Gandalf of badass old wizards!!

...Fine, Shazam's in #3. Ben Kenobi rules. Screw Midi-chlorians trying to make the Force sound like weaksauce.

Spectre and Shazam go about in an epic battle and when Spectre seems to have the upper hand, Shazam pretty much proves that old men collecting rare artifacts of doom are not people who dwell in basements like weirdos, as various artifacts in his base beats the Hell out of the Spectre. Of course, you can't exactly kill the guy known as Wrath of God and Spectre in the end is the victor, killing Shazam and releasing tons of great evil into the DC universe...Nice job Green Man. Our heroes then declare themselves a team and prepares to head off and face Spectre and contain the various evils he unleashed and our comic then ends, leading to more events I have not yet read at this point.

What I thought? It's pretty damn good to my surprise. You may get a bunch of C or D-listers as your main cast but they prove they can be awesome...Not Batman levels of insanity awesome but awesome nevertheless. I enjoyed the story and the art was pretty decent to outragously awesome (Marvel beating up Spectre like some red headed stepchild was pure gold). One of the things that bugs me was the fact that DC had more magical badasses but they're not in the story other than a cameo. Green Lantern Alan Scott is basically holding a ton of magic in his ring yet Spectre never gunned for him and Zatanna is a well known magic user and she also manages to avoid Spectre's wrath...So how did they avoid this crap? Otherwise, it's a damn good read and this crap is the stuff that got me to writing stuff like this.So in my opinion, I enjoyed the Hell out of it. Not everyone will like this sort of stuff but I'd say give it a try.

So this is a rather fair review of a comic I have read and I hope this entertains you all!

Now I'm off to bring Leonidas Potter (aka most badass Wizard) back to life...With Science!

Sources:
-DC Comics
-Star Wars
-LOTR
-Twlight
-Funny Photoshop of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Character Reviews: Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun)

Alright, gonna start something I call Character Reviews, in which I check out a character in fiction and express how I feel said character in my own opinion, in which you can either enjoy or take it with very little regard and ignore me...Or worse, getting bricks thrown at my bedroom window should you ever find my house. This is purely for entertainment reasons and you're free to express your own personal feelings on the matter, I love to see what you think for yourself! XD

I'm gonna start off with one of my favorite characters, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, from the series Trigun.

Aka, the most badass priest who really set the bar of how badass a preist in fiction has to be to reach his awesomeness.

Now I know there's both an anime and a manga and both displayed Wolfwod in different ways, so I'm reviewing Manga Wolfwood, who is pretty much the only one I'm more familar with. Sue me if you think I was gonna do both because I just haven't seen much of the anime.

Alright, begin!

Nicholas D. Wolfwood was introduced rather late in the first Trigun series (aka, when it stops being a comedy and carries more of a serious dark tone...With some comedy in it) as he meets our hero, Vash, who is currently being hunted by a group of gunmen called the Gung-Ho Guns, employed by Vash's rather insane brother, whose name is Knives of all names (It's a long story to be honest). Wolfwood seems to be a rather okay gentleman, since he carries a large ass cross and loves to insult his allies-Wait, that's like the total opposite of gentleman....Okay, he's more like the Han Solo in the group but he's loyal.

Until you find out he's actually a member of the Gung-Ho Guns codenamed Chapel, whose goal is to be friends with Vash and try to screw with Vash's head.

Okay, maybe that wasn't much of a shocker than you assume.

Course, Wolfwood proves himself more than just a lackey as after Vash blows a hole in the moon and disappears (again, this is a weird series), Wolfwood actually tries to kill Knives, only to overwhelm by Knives somewhat amazing powers. Instead of being turned to bloody confetti, Knives orders Wolfwood to continue following Vash as a friend.

Cause badass bros before...Hos?

So after a rather long search (aka we're having a timeskip), Wolfwood finds Vash and convinces him to set back to his goal of stopping Knives. Course, Nicholas must have some ability so the creator gave him a huge ass gun called the Punisher, which turns out to be the cross he's using!

Really, the thing's a machine gun, rocket launcher, and carries a couple of pistols!

...Damn, that's awesome.

At this point, Wolfwood and Vash begin to have conflicts over their beliefs. Vash believes that killing doesn't solve anything while Wolfwood believes assholes who try to kill you deserves to be buried in the ground and while he himself doesn't want to kill someone, he really sees himself having little choice but take the matter in his own hands, no matter what others would think of him in the end and just accept he's a cold blooded murderer. It's rather interesting as at times, both sides were shown that their views, while having valid points, has flaws as well so both are never seen as perfect or who is right. This also eats Wolfwood's soul, as the man himself questions if perhaps Vash is right yet at times couldn't stray far from his views because let's face it, the setting of Trigun as a place to live really sucks and nearly an assload of the population are assholes who hurt others for the sake of doing so. Something that some would say pacifism doesn't work in such a setting.

While that is going on, Wolfwood is by far one of the best gunfighters in the entire Trigun series, as he goes on to have many battles with the Gung-Ho Guns and is shown to be a superior fighter.

First was Gray, The Ninelives. a huge robot piloted by 9 dwarfs and is the powerhouse of the Gung-Ho Guns.

At this point, you wish I was making this up.

Wolfwood proceeds to rip Gray to pieces with his Punisher and....Well, pretty much resort to his fists when he ran out of ammo and man, was it messy. Took a volume too.

Then comes his battle with Midvalley the Hornfreak, a saxophone player/assassin whose own saxophone can produced sonic waves.

Again, you wish I was making this up.

The Midvalley battle is pretty intense, as Wolfwood is hit by a blast and is actually counted as dead....Only except he doesn't and proceeds to scare the Hell out of Midvalley, as Wolwood keeps going after him when he's really in no shape to even fight, as well as protecting a young woman when it's noted he is blind after the first attack. Then the two are involved in a huge standoff with two other fighters that'll make John Woo proud. And it took two volumes.

Holy god damn, that's awesome.

After that fiasco, the Gung-Ho Guns realize that they are low in numbers and decided to hire two members of the cult known as the Eye of Micheal, a group of assassins that assisted Knives for years. Naturally, you assume they would be pushovers..

...Then you have to learn that Wolfwood was a member of the Eye of Micheal and knowing what he did so far, this is gonna bite our heroes in the ass.

Not only that but his codename wasn't even his own, it was actually his master's, who he crippled in order to take his place...

You can see that Wolfwood is screwed...

And Chapel was kind enough to reveal that he also took another student in the form of Wolfwood's childhood friend Livio and made him into the perfect killer.

God damn, doesn't anything go right for Wolfwood?!

So in retalition, they pretty much shot Wolfwood to pieces and leave him for dead. And that's not all, they intend to head to the Orphanage Wolfwood and Livio grew up in and kill everyone Wolfwood has ever known or love...At this point, you better give the man a hug and a big damn one while you're at it.

Wolfwood pretty much says screw it and goes on his own to protect his home and the many friends he has there.

Okay, maybe I should stop to explain his back story....Because even I'm kind of getting lost here.

History time!

Wolfwood was once an orphan who acted like a big brother towards nearly everyone in the orphanage, as the kids respected him. He also had a slight grim view of life, because...Well, he never had parents to begin with and figures that well, everybody in the orphanage has this problem and that the world in general sucks ass.

Damn, why are the troubled ones get to be cute kids before the eventually scarring?

However, the Eye of Micheal saw potential in our kid, and decides to take him in. Before he leaves...Well, he gets one Hell of a goodbye from the kids.

Ugh, this is heartwarming and sad because you just know he's going to change...Like a lot.

Soon after that, Wolfwood now endures the most dangerous training to become a member of the Eye of Micheal under the studies of Chapel himself, who even goes as far as to shoot Wolfwood as to find ways to not screw up while getting shot.

Don't let the text fool ya, he's worse than the old man in Kill Bill!

And that's not all, Chapel even gets Wolfwood to undergo experiments with his body to make him the perfect killer, which eventually made Wolfwood look like an adult while he's technically 17 by the start of Trigun...Meaning that he's like a prison sentence just waiting to happen for any woman who takes interest in him! They also gave him vials of serum that increases his body's already insane healing rate and not to mention the fact they gave him the Punisher (a weapon so damn awesome, only ten were made), in which he is so damn good at using that his real codename is Nicholas the Punisher...I gotta say, Wolfwood really became quite the badass at the expense of his happiness!

Of course, Wolfwood ends up getting rather sick of Chapel's crap and shoots him before taking his place in the Gung-Ho Guns...We all know that bit him in the ass and man, do those teeth really sink in for our jerk of an anti-hero.

Wolfwood now has to save his love ones from both Chapel and Livio in all of his ability should they even walk away in one piece!

aka when the shit got real.

SPOILERS: IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS AWESOMENESS WITHOUT ME SAYING IT, GO READ THE MANGA!!!! IT'S INSANELY WORTH IT!!!


I will admit Volume 9 and 10 are indeed the best ones of the entire Trigun series...And that's saying a lot. This is pure Wolfwood and you get to see why he hangs out with Vash "Mothafucking" Stampede. What's even more amazing that out of all the people he shot or beat up, only one dies through the entire scuffle in his hands.

Hell, he even gets Livio on his side and turns him into a good guy! That's like asking Sasuke Uchiha to quit being a douchebag and go home!

If only Wolfwood can convince this ass... (you can see that I loathe his change from friend to enemy status)

However, it all comes to a price as Wolfwood injuries were too much...Yep, he's dying folks.

He's drinking with Vash, sitting on a couch, knowing he died for the friends he considers family. Sure they never knew it was him the entire time and maybe he'll pull through and be in the final volumes. I mean it's a manga where death for protagonist is hard to-Wait, why is confetti falling from the ship the kids and old woman are leaving in?

....Oh dear god, don't tell me....

Don't you dare do this to me, manga! Wolfwood can't die! He's too awesome to die!!

.....God Damn It.

Yep, Wolfwood dies....And he ain't coming back folks, this aint' Dragonball, where death is cheap.

Although he died this way, I felt a bit at ease with the whole thing. He didn't end up a smear on the wall or died a death that would piss me off (like saying Han Solo is still frozen in Carbonite but Lucas said fuck him and never brought him back for Return of the Jedi) but died a more peaceful death, as his journey for him is over. The man suffered a lot and died happy knowing that his friends are safe and grateful despite the blood he spilled on his hands.

but wait, who'll take over for him to help Vash, none other than the reformed Liivio, who saw Wolfwood's death as a wake up call, that Vash needs a friend in need...A Partner...A fellow Comrade in arms.

Hell to the fucking yes!

Livio proves himself in the last few volumes that he can indeed be a worthy replacement and be as much of an asskicker as the rest of the cast. he's like the Benkei of Getter Robo or the Viral of Gurren Lagaan!

But nevertheless, Wolfwood would never be forgotten. He left his mark on the series as a badass and despite being a tragic hero, he at least figured with a guy like our hero Vash, that there is hope in a world that basically chews him out and that he is not alone just when things are grim. He started off rather cynical of Vash's pacifism and goal of stopping Knives, but grew to eventually see that Vash is really all that stands from having humans, who nearly 50% of the manga are displayed as scum, wiped off the face of the planet and can prove that despite all these negative traits, not all humans are bad and they are the friendliest bunch you'll cherish for the rest of your life. Wolfwood was slow to learn of this but became the person he was meant to be, a helpful and kind person who others can look up to. He died at least knowing this.

Lived a badass, died a tortured soul at ease...Like a true badass.

All in all, Nicholas is indeed my most favorite character and he sure left his mark as the badass of this manga. It sucks he died, but it really works. He was kind of realistic of a character in a sci-fi gun shooting manga. He had a messed up life and became a killing machine at a young age that's bound to have sociopath traits but he just barely hangs on to his humanity and being Vash's friend saves him from becoming what he fears he's slowly changing into since his training with Chapel and being in Knives group. like a real person, he learns slowly and not at the drop of a hat and it's nice to see that from Wolfwood. In the manga, he is also the comedy alongside Vash...By mostly being an asshole. Of course like I mentioned above, it's not like he can simply do knock knock jokes, he's a cynical killing machine.

While some of his fights are amazing, Volume 9 and 10 are indeed the best of his feats, as he goes beyond what you see beforehand. In a weird way, the manga just doesn't interest me that much after his death...He really left a huge WTF statement when he died and it just shook me up just trying to read volume 11...Or the rest of the manga soon after.

Still, Livio is still a damn good replacement and his fights in the manga are just as awesome.

So Nicholas D. Wolfwood, the most badass preacher in fiction. You may have been an ass that'll make Han Solo proud, but you were always a loved badass!

Nicholas D. Wolfwood, one of the many saints of Badasses among Badasses, I salute you!!

-Till Next Time!

Sources:

Trigun Maxium scans
Trigun Wallpapers
Sasuke Uchiha fanart